2015年5月18日 星期一

My heart beats for Ashtanga

On May 14 ´-17  I attended an Ashtanga workshop hosted by the Ashtanga Yoga Dresden where I have been always wanted to take class but due to the financial reason hadnt have a chance . It was the best weekend since the begining of this year. It was not my first time to be in an Ashtanga class nor workshop. I 
Even I really enjoy practicing at home and I have been established a steady home practice , i dont need to be pushed to wake up early to do yoga, I still haven been always  yearn for a teacher and method who and which I want to follow, who / which can personally , clearly guide me both of physically and mentally growth and resolving , discussing my confusion, sharing the love , passion of life and yoga . I have wandered from different yoga studios , tried class with different teachers, maybe also part of the language problem, I have never felt any connection with any teachers here, even the yoga teacher training I am taking cant fullfill my need which I am pretty disappointed and it worries me as well.
The 4 days workshop opens a new page of my yoga journey, I can still feel my excitement and touched at the moment I am writing this text. And I totally love the teachers!!

We were a very small group , and mornings we practiced Mysore style, it was my first experience of this kind of practice. At the beginning I felt a bit not ease and not used to it as usually we just followed the teacher but with Mysore style , no one leads you, it's really a challenge of concentration and not comparing haha. And everyone is so individual , so through this self leaded practice, teachers can help us to know our body better and go deeper to the pose which I didn't think I would be able to do it ! For me it's really a trust ( both ourselves and teachers ) and a  training for being responsible of our own body and practice as well being independent . 
Afternoon we learned some yoga anatomy which I am also very interested in it . The best part was the break down of each asana and adjustment , learning how to assist and adjust other people to get into the pose with different level. We were only like 6-7 people so we got highly attention from the teachers and each of us can really practiced practically!! What I learned from it in only these 4 days are much much much more than my 2-year-YTT which I'm truly not satisfied. 

What made this workshop different to me were I really felt the heart , careness and energy from the teachers.  This year the past months was very tough for me, my heart was totally broken , I doubted my personal value and personaility of trusting people, I blamed myself and took it as all my fault of these heartbroken experiences. The first morning   before the practice , teacher led us to do the concentration and intention setting, he wanted us to breathe from and into our heart ,   think of someone or something , then forgive that person , second forgive ourselves, I immediately got tear flowing down  my face. 
After the first day I knew that I stepped on a path that would alter my life and I felt like "coming home to myself", I felt my heart pounded for it. I knew this is the direction of practice I want to toward .

I am truly appreciated the awesome teachers Tom and Dirk for hosting such amazing and warmhearted workshop !Thank you being a wonderful and important part of my yoga path!!  I really hope they can feel how tremendous my appreciation and love is !! I'll keep practicing  !!  



New Page of my yoga path




Today is the day I determine to dedicate myself to ashtanga practice. To me I feel like it's a new page of my yoga path, a more clear direction, an vision. I am so excited to see what and where my practice will bring me to .

2015年1月29日 星期四

Embrace myself

Today I feel pretty fresh and energized from have been down for almost a month

The past month due to several reasons I was in a very low tide, a bit depressed even, and lost the motivation and direction

I am happy and proud of myself even in the bad time I still have kept practicing my yoga, do my daily chanting, and read even sometimes I was not concentrate

Through these daily practices I slowly to see it and understand clearly the meaning of all these experiences .

Today through encouraging a friend of mine makes me feel thankful for all the difficuties I have been through and thankful for being who I am , for having these shortcomings, just because these weak points so I have the chance to step on  my own journey of transformation through the difficulties I have been through and overcome and hence to encourage the people who has the similar situations.

I really expect myself can be the person who can bring the people /world around me hope and courage, be the person who can repay a kindness .

2015年1月5日 星期一

When things fall apart

我又掉進了我的地獄
什麼都沒有

i feel pain when i think of you said you wanted to kill yourself
I feel pain when i think of your pain of missing your daughter
I feel pain when i think of I left you on your own


start doing anything
yes, my brain know that but my heart doesn't want
I just don't want to do anything
I only want to lying on my bed  ratten

I want to see clearly the meaning I met you
I want to know why you came to my life but couldnt stay
I want to understand why we love each other but we can't communicate at all

I am so lost again
all the doubt come back again
should I continue my study?
should I go home?

I am still expecting someone can show up and save me , help me
maybe that's why I keep encounter difficulties



2014年12月28日 星期日

沒有獨立的精神 和誰在一起都是流浪

「所以,生命裏第一個愛戀的對象應該是自己,寫詩給自己,與自己對話,在一個空間裏安靜下來,聆聽自己的心跳與呼吸,我相信,這個生命走出去時不會慌張。」——蔣勳《孤獨六講》

最近的心情起伏實在是很大
很久沒有好好的用文字寫下自己的想法 以及每天發生的事情
雖然很多事情 卻很難寫個出什麼真正的東西 哈哈

今天因為又有了小爭執
讓我真的有了動力 決定再次打開我的部落格 紀錄我的想法

最近與T發生的事情實在太多 需要好好的整理 也許寫在別篇
昨天 我們說好了 再給這段感情一個機會
至少當面溝通 而不要這樣就放棄了
所以當我昨天 看到一段文章關於 細水長流的愛情
當中有一段英文的文字 我覺得很棒 所以貼給他
我沒有考慮到他正在跟朋友在一起
我只想到 我期待他能夠回應 能夠符合這段文字給我的感受一樣的
但他只回了lovely 我當下感到有點失望
於是今天我跟他說了 我覺得有點失望關於他只回了lovely
本來我的期待也只是他能說一些安慰我的話
沒想到他回了一些 我覺得讓我聽起來感覺很刺耳很冷漠的話
後來在唱題時候 我再度思考這件事情
其實我真的應該要好好感謝他的出現 真的是要逼我大大的人間革命
真的是教我看清楚自己需要改革的地方 而不是只是表面

也許是因為家中只有我一個小孩的關係
即使我覺得自己並沒有被寵壞
但是難免什麼都會以自我為中心
總是把自己的情緒 自己的感受放得很大
也從來沒有人教我要怎麼溝通 要怎麼樣處理人際關係的問題


一直以來我都有在愛情中過度依賴的問題
以為自己能夠搬出來住 自己能夠自處
就以為自己已經很獨立 不依賴了
可是我卻忘記了 真的的獨立是跟自己也能對話
對於自己有感觸的東西 留給自己跟自己的對話
跟伴侶分享是好事
然而我卻期待對方給我的回應是應該要跟我一樣
但是 我是我 對方是對方
就像媽媽說的 信心是我自己的事 是我自己跟御本尊 之間的事
就算我的伴侶也也信心 也跟我無關
重要的是我把信心把題目展現在自己的行為 自己的生活
而不是以分享為藉口的強迫對方接受自己的觀點 甚至是其實是自己需要人間革命的地方

我想一直以來
在愛情當我 我都是以我自己為中心
很多事情我都把 我這樣做是因為我愛你 當能最好的藉口
常常我想把自己的想法 讓自己感動的人市物 自己認同的事物 強迫對方接受
常常我談論自己
卻忘了傾聽
忘了讓對方談論自己
我把自己的情緒放得很大
也許剛開始對方會覺得這樣是浪漫
過了蜜月期 就會累了吧


其實這段關係是鍛鍊我人間革命很好的機會
我們很像 所以爭吵很多
用什麼樣的心態去面對當我們又有了爭執的時候
是 覺得 天阿 又來了
還是 又是能夠讓自己的人格更堅強的時候來了

我想新的一年我有了新的目標
就是 像內發展更堅強更寬廣的自己   才能夠向外展現為 更能傾聽 更能接受不同的意見
不被每天的幻象動搖
read more, write more, chant more, listen more, study more,, practice more, love more, thank more


2014年6月17日 星期二

YogaAsana - Dolphin pose 海豚式

海豚式 是練習手臂 核心肌群很好的體式 ,也可以更幫助體會如何打開肩膀與鎖骨,也是練習 頭立式 等倒立姿勢很好的動作喔!! 若要更加強練習核心肌群可以練習從海豚到海豚平板式(也就是前臂在地板)的push up 
How to :  
To enter dolphin pose from all fours: take hold of opposite biceps and plant your elbows on the ground beneath your shoulders. Release your forearms and interlace your fingers - or spread the fingers wide, palms flat and wrist creases facing forwards (more challenging than interlaced). Inhale, tuck the toes. Exhale, straighten the legs and press your hips to the sky. Inhale, shift forward into low plank, tap your nose outside the hands. Exhale, press into forearms and tap your forehead inside your hands. Inhale, shift forward. Exhale, shift back. Ride the waves of breath as your build strength and heat in the body.

or

 Start in plank in your elbows. Inhale breathe into your kidneys, tucking the ribs and squeezing the shins in to he midline. Exhale let the shoulder blades touch as you melt your heart between your biceps. Keepig this Inhale walk your feet up toward your body. Legs can come wide. Exhale belly to spine, shoulders in the back. there is a little outer rotation in the biceps to open the shoulders. Eventually you'll walk your legs up so much that they are directly over your hips. Feet free to lift your leg and turn this into pincha or just linger here for two mor breaths. Notice the emotions come up and pour out of your head. Let go. Be free of the negative thoughts and replace them with love. 

2014年6月14日 星期六

YogaAsana -- Downward facing dog

Down dog is always a posture of grounding, of rest. An opportunity to reconnect with the breath, to grow roots and ground and to steady the mind and lengthen the spine. when we breathe, air is drawn in and then forced out, over and over, again and again until our last day. But if we don't bring awareness to breathing with our whole lungs, we have stagnant air that remains. This residue combined with lack of proper air intake can contribute to physical fatigue. In the same way, when we hold on to the past: how someone wronged us, or a bad decision we made, this baggage is the same type of residue that manifests in the form of stress and emotional fatigue. Drop the burden by dropping your memory. Not your memory of your literal life story, but drop the memory of the wrongs, the hurts, feelings of bitterness or revenge, drop them all. Let them go. Drop your memory, release the staleness, and live with exquisite beautiful vitality 