2015年5月18日 星期一

My heart beats for Ashtanga

On May 14 ´-17  I attended an Ashtanga workshop hosted by the Ashtanga Yoga Dresden where I have been always wanted to take class but due to the financial reason hadnt have a chance . It was the best weekend since the begining of this year. It was not my first time to be in an Ashtanga class nor workshop. I 
Even I really enjoy practicing at home and I have been established a steady home practice , i dont need to be pushed to wake up early to do yoga, I still haven been always  yearn for a teacher and method who and which I want to follow, who / which can personally , clearly guide me both of physically and mentally growth and resolving , discussing my confusion, sharing the love , passion of life and yoga . I have wandered from different yoga studios , tried class with different teachers, maybe also part of the language problem, I have never felt any connection with any teachers here, even the yoga teacher training I am taking cant fullfill my need which I am pretty disappointed and it worries me as well.
The 4 days workshop opens a new page of my yoga journey, I can still feel my excitement and touched at the moment I am writing this text. And I totally love the teachers!!

We were a very small group , and mornings we practiced Mysore style, it was my first experience of this kind of practice. At the beginning I felt a bit not ease and not used to it as usually we just followed the teacher but with Mysore style , no one leads you, it's really a challenge of concentration and not comparing haha. And everyone is so individual , so through this self leaded practice, teachers can help us to know our body better and go deeper to the pose which I didn't think I would be able to do it ! For me it's really a trust ( both ourselves and teachers ) and a  training for being responsible of our own body and practice as well being independent . 
Afternoon we learned some yoga anatomy which I am also very interested in it . The best part was the break down of each asana and adjustment , learning how to assist and adjust other people to get into the pose with different level. We were only like 6-7 people so we got highly attention from the teachers and each of us can really practiced practically!! What I learned from it in only these 4 days are much much much more than my 2-year-YTT which I'm truly not satisfied. 

What made this workshop different to me were I really felt the heart , careness and energy from the teachers.  This year the past months was very tough for me, my heart was totally broken , I doubted my personal value and personaility of trusting people, I blamed myself and took it as all my fault of these heartbroken experiences. The first morning   before the practice , teacher led us to do the concentration and intention setting, he wanted us to breathe from and into our heart ,   think of someone or something , then forgive that person , second forgive ourselves, I immediately got tear flowing down  my face. 
After the first day I knew that I stepped on a path that would alter my life and I felt like "coming home to myself", I felt my heart pounded for it. I knew this is the direction of practice I want to toward .

I am truly appreciated the awesome teachers Tom and Dirk for hosting such amazing and warmhearted workshop !Thank you being a wonderful and important part of my yoga path!!  I really hope they can feel how tremendous my appreciation and love is !! I'll keep practicing  !!  



New Page of my yoga path




Today is the day I determine to dedicate myself to ashtanga practice. To me I feel like it's a new page of my yoga path, a more clear direction, an vision. I am so excited to see what and where my practice will bring me to .

2015年1月29日 星期四

Embrace myself

Today I feel pretty fresh and energized from have been down for almost a month

The past month due to several reasons I was in a very low tide, a bit depressed even, and lost the motivation and direction

I am happy and proud of myself even in the bad time I still have kept practicing my yoga, do my daily chanting, and read even sometimes I was not concentrate

Through these daily practices I slowly to see it and understand clearly the meaning of all these experiences .

Today through encouraging a friend of mine makes me feel thankful for all the difficuties I have been through and thankful for being who I am , for having these shortcomings, just because these weak points so I have the chance to step on  my own journey of transformation through the difficulties I have been through and overcome and hence to encourage the people who has the similar situations.

I really expect myself can be the person who can bring the people /world around me hope and courage, be the person who can repay a kindness .

2015年1月5日 星期一

When things fall apart

我又掉進了我的地獄
什麼都沒有

i feel pain when i think of you said you wanted to kill yourself
I feel pain when i think of your pain of missing your daughter
I feel pain when i think of I left you on your own


start doing anything
yes, my brain know that but my heart doesn't want
I just don't want to do anything
I only want to lying on my bed  ratten

I want to see clearly the meaning I met you
I want to know why you came to my life but couldnt stay
I want to understand why we love each other but we can't communicate at all

I am so lost again
all the doubt come back again
should I continue my study?
should I go home?

I am still expecting someone can show up and save me , help me
maybe that's why I keep encounter difficulties