2015年5月18日 星期一

My heart beats for Ashtanga

On May 14 ´-17  I attended an Ashtanga workshop hosted by the Ashtanga Yoga Dresden where I have been always wanted to take class but due to the financial reason hadnt have a chance . It was the best weekend since the begining of this year. It was not my first time to be in an Ashtanga class nor workshop. I 
Even I really enjoy practicing at home and I have been established a steady home practice , i dont need to be pushed to wake up early to do yoga, I still haven been always  yearn for a teacher and method who and which I want to follow, who / which can personally , clearly guide me both of physically and mentally growth and resolving , discussing my confusion, sharing the love , passion of life and yoga . I have wandered from different yoga studios , tried class with different teachers, maybe also part of the language problem, I have never felt any connection with any teachers here, even the yoga teacher training I am taking cant fullfill my need which I am pretty disappointed and it worries me as well.
The 4 days workshop opens a new page of my yoga journey, I can still feel my excitement and touched at the moment I am writing this text. And I totally love the teachers!!

We were a very small group , and mornings we practiced Mysore style, it was my first experience of this kind of practice. At the beginning I felt a bit not ease and not used to it as usually we just followed the teacher but with Mysore style , no one leads you, it's really a challenge of concentration and not comparing haha. And everyone is so individual , so through this self leaded practice, teachers can help us to know our body better and go deeper to the pose which I didn't think I would be able to do it ! For me it's really a trust ( both ourselves and teachers ) and a  training for being responsible of our own body and practice as well being independent . 
Afternoon we learned some yoga anatomy which I am also very interested in it . The best part was the break down of each asana and adjustment , learning how to assist and adjust other people to get into the pose with different level. We were only like 6-7 people so we got highly attention from the teachers and each of us can really practiced practically!! What I learned from it in only these 4 days are much much much more than my 2-year-YTT which I'm truly not satisfied. 

What made this workshop different to me were I really felt the heart , careness and energy from the teachers.  This year the past months was very tough for me, my heart was totally broken , I doubted my personal value and personaility of trusting people, I blamed myself and took it as all my fault of these heartbroken experiences. The first morning   before the practice , teacher led us to do the concentration and intention setting, he wanted us to breathe from and into our heart ,   think of someone or something , then forgive that person , second forgive ourselves, I immediately got tear flowing down  my face. 
After the first day I knew that I stepped on a path that would alter my life and I felt like "coming home to myself", I felt my heart pounded for it. I knew this is the direction of practice I want to toward .

I am truly appreciated the awesome teachers Tom and Dirk for hosting such amazing and warmhearted workshop !Thank you being a wonderful and important part of my yoga path!!  I really hope they can feel how tremendous my appreciation and love is !! I'll keep practicing  !!  



New Page of my yoga path




Today is the day I determine to dedicate myself to ashtanga practice. To me I feel like it's a new page of my yoga path, a more clear direction, an vision. I am so excited to see what and where my practice will bring me to .

2015年1月29日 星期四

Embrace myself

Today I feel pretty fresh and energized from have been down for almost a month

The past month due to several reasons I was in a very low tide, a bit depressed even, and lost the motivation and direction

I am happy and proud of myself even in the bad time I still have kept practicing my yoga, do my daily chanting, and read even sometimes I was not concentrate

Through these daily practices I slowly to see it and understand clearly the meaning of all these experiences .

Today through encouraging a friend of mine makes me feel thankful for all the difficuties I have been through and thankful for being who I am , for having these shortcomings, just because these weak points so I have the chance to step on  my own journey of transformation through the difficulties I have been through and overcome and hence to encourage the people who has the similar situations.

I really expect myself can be the person who can bring the people /world around me hope and courage, be the person who can repay a kindness .

2015年1月5日 星期一

When things fall apart

我又掉進了我的地獄
什麼都沒有

i feel pain when i think of you said you wanted to kill yourself
I feel pain when i think of your pain of missing your daughter
I feel pain when i think of I left you on your own


start doing anything
yes, my brain know that but my heart doesn't want
I just don't want to do anything
I only want to lying on my bed  ratten

I want to see clearly the meaning I met you
I want to know why you came to my life but couldnt stay
I want to understand why we love each other but we can't communicate at all

I am so lost again
all the doubt come back again
should I continue my study?
should I go home?

I am still expecting someone can show up and save me , help me
maybe that's why I keep encounter difficulties



2014年12月28日 星期日

沒有獨立的精神 和誰在一起都是流浪

「所以,生命裏第一個愛戀的對象應該是自己,寫詩給自己,與自己對話,在一個空間裏安靜下來,聆聽自己的心跳與呼吸,我相信,這個生命走出去時不會慌張。」——蔣勳《孤獨六講》

最近的心情起伏實在是很大
很久沒有好好的用文字寫下自己的想法 以及每天發生的事情
雖然很多事情 卻很難寫個出什麼真正的東西 哈哈

今天因為又有了小爭執
讓我真的有了動力 決定再次打開我的部落格 紀錄我的想法

最近與T發生的事情實在太多 需要好好的整理 也許寫在別篇
昨天 我們說好了 再給這段感情一個機會
至少當面溝通 而不要這樣就放棄了
所以當我昨天 看到一段文章關於 細水長流的愛情
當中有一段英文的文字 我覺得很棒 所以貼給他
我沒有考慮到他正在跟朋友在一起
我只想到 我期待他能夠回應 能夠符合這段文字給我的感受一樣的
但他只回了lovely 我當下感到有點失望
於是今天我跟他說了 我覺得有點失望關於他只回了lovely
本來我的期待也只是他能說一些安慰我的話
沒想到他回了一些 我覺得讓我聽起來感覺很刺耳很冷漠的話
後來在唱題時候 我再度思考這件事情
其實我真的應該要好好感謝他的出現 真的是要逼我大大的人間革命
真的是教我看清楚自己需要改革的地方 而不是只是表面

也許是因為家中只有我一個小孩的關係
即使我覺得自己並沒有被寵壞
但是難免什麼都會以自我為中心
總是把自己的情緒 自己的感受放得很大
也從來沒有人教我要怎麼溝通 要怎麼樣處理人際關係的問題


一直以來我都有在愛情中過度依賴的問題
以為自己能夠搬出來住 自己能夠自處
就以為自己已經很獨立 不依賴了
可是我卻忘記了 真的的獨立是跟自己也能對話
對於自己有感觸的東西 留給自己跟自己的對話
跟伴侶分享是好事
然而我卻期待對方給我的回應是應該要跟我一樣
但是 我是我 對方是對方
就像媽媽說的 信心是我自己的事 是我自己跟御本尊 之間的事
就算我的伴侶也也信心 也跟我無關
重要的是我把信心把題目展現在自己的行為 自己的生活
而不是以分享為藉口的強迫對方接受自己的觀點 甚至是其實是自己需要人間革命的地方

我想一直以來
在愛情當我 我都是以我自己為中心
很多事情我都把 我這樣做是因為我愛你 當能最好的藉口
常常我想把自己的想法 讓自己感動的人市物 自己認同的事物 強迫對方接受
常常我談論自己
卻忘了傾聽
忘了讓對方談論自己
我把自己的情緒放得很大
也許剛開始對方會覺得這樣是浪漫
過了蜜月期 就會累了吧


其實這段關係是鍛鍊我人間革命很好的機會
我們很像 所以爭吵很多
用什麼樣的心態去面對當我們又有了爭執的時候
是 覺得 天阿 又來了
還是 又是能夠讓自己的人格更堅強的時候來了

我想新的一年我有了新的目標
就是 像內發展更堅強更寬廣的自己   才能夠向外展現為 更能傾聽 更能接受不同的意見
不被每天的幻象動搖
read more, write more, chant more, listen more, study more,, practice more, love more, thank more


2014年6月17日 星期二

YogaAsana - Dolphin pose 海豚式

海豚式 是練習手臂 核心肌群很好的體式 ,也可以更幫助體會如何打開肩膀與鎖骨,也是練習 頭立式 等倒立姿勢很好的動作喔!! 若要更加強練習核心肌群可以練習從海豚到海豚平板式(也就是前臂在地板)的push up 
How to :  
To enter dolphin pose from all fours: take hold of opposite biceps and plant your elbows on the ground beneath your shoulders. Release your forearms and interlace your fingers - or spread the fingers wide, palms flat and wrist creases facing forwards (more challenging than interlaced). Inhale, tuck the toes. Exhale, straighten the legs and press your hips to the sky. Inhale, shift forward into low plank, tap your nose outside the hands. Exhale, press into forearms and tap your forehead inside your hands. Inhale, shift forward. Exhale, shift back. Ride the waves of breath as your build strength and heat in the body.

or

 Start in plank in your elbows. Inhale breathe into your kidneys, tucking the ribs and squeezing the shins in to he midline. Exhale let the shoulder blades touch as you melt your heart between your biceps. Keepig this Inhale walk your feet up toward your body. Legs can come wide. Exhale belly to spine, shoulders in the back. there is a little outer rotation in the biceps to open the shoulders. Eventually you'll walk your legs up so much that they are directly over your hips. Feet free to lift your leg and turn this into pincha or just linger here for two mor breaths. Notice the emotions come up and pour out of your head. Let go. Be free of the negative thoughts and replace them with love. 

2014年6月14日 星期六

YogaAsana -- Downward facing dog

Down dog is always a posture of grounding, of rest. An opportunity to reconnect with the breath, to grow roots and ground and to steady the mind and lengthen the spine. when we breathe, air is drawn in and then forced out, over and over, again and again until our last day. But if we don't bring awareness to breathing with our whole lungs, we have stagnant air that remains. This residue combined with lack of proper air intake can contribute to physical fatigue. In the same way, when we hold on to the past: how someone wronged us, or a bad decision we made, this baggage is the same type of residue that manifests in the form of stress and emotional fatigue. Drop the burden by dropping your memory. Not your memory of your literal life story, but drop the memory of the wrongs, the hurts, feelings of bitterness or revenge, drop them all. Let them go. Drop your memory, release the staleness, and live with exquisite beautiful vitality 

2014年3月13日 星期四

《人間革命》大惡起大善來

人一旦開始決定奮起,一定會遇到障礙,但若一心堅定不害怕,一定宇宙的力量都會一起來幫你!!
賢者喜,愚者退。

感謝aaa跟李娜,很妙就在我跟媽媽決意今年就是我們徹底人間革命徹底宿命轉換的隔天媽媽發現喉嚨有腫,大惡起大善來,先生說不要害怕要歡喜的迎接難,因為這表示我們要奮起了,魔都感到害怕了所以蠢蠢欲動。
今天突然收到台灣一家公司誠徵翻譯的郵件,感謝感謝,讓我感受到念完書的重要,再次深深決意,不論何事我一定要完成我的學業。

2014年3月10日 星期一

人間革命 --- 獨立性


今天因為要繳學費所以一定得上我逃避很久的網路帳戶
以為我至少有三百歐吧
結果居然只有240不到
看了一下明細
發現 Medita的瑜珈課 雖然到期了但卻還繼續扣月費

一開始覺得驚慌 然後生氣 然後很難過又惶恐
就要簽證了 繳完學費後戶頭就會剩下50歐不到

告訴自己先靜下心來
先把上學期的學生證紙本找出來
然後再把瑜珈課的合約找出來
仔細讀了一下後面的規定
果然有寫若在到期前一個月沒有說要取消
則會自動延期

恩 這是我的通病
不好好讀完合約內容就簽名

寫了一封email去medita 希望她們能夠通融讓我能拿回被多扣掉的兩個月學費
或是至少能保留款項等我之後用

很有趣的是
這次我能夠比較跳出來 觀察自己情緒的變化
之後Amy剛好出來
我跟她說了剛發生的事情
因為她最近也是發生沒考慮清楚就馬上簽合約的事情
所以很能體會這種頓時跌到谷底的心情
講完之後我也跟她說 我覺得很有趣 人的心情真的可以從一下很好變到很遭

她也是鼓勵我 不要擔心 先寫mail問
然後唱題
在唱題時剛好又讀了一下這期的Forum
這期的Forum主題是 Eigenstaendigkeit
我覺得就是給我的指導

昨天才跟映莉說 我現在知道 來到德國 認識Ben就是為了讓我撤徹底底的學習 獨立性
雖然信心這麼久
雖然聽 人間革命 這個詞這麼久
但是其實我沒有真的在人間革命 至少沒有真的去貫徹
或是也沒有去真正看清 或說是真正承認 自己要徹底改革的地方 自己的無明

如瑜珈經裡的第一肢 Yama (持戒)裡的 Satya ( truthfulness)哲學也是 首先我們要誠實的接受面對我們自己
因為接受是改變的必要條件
我們必須知道自己在哪 才能知道自己想要去的地方的方向要怎麼走
這個原則就跟佛法的 看清自己生命的本質 是一樣的吧

在唱題時候
先懺悔了自己對金錢 對自己很不負責任的態度
接著我感到很感謝
感謝我有很舒服的地方住
感謝每天我也能吃自己想吃的東西
感謝每天我能夠隨心所欲的站上瑜珈墊練習
感謝每天我能夠隨心所欲的面對御本尊唱題

一直以來我心理一直期待著Ben來幫我 能理解我的困難
然後變成了責怪 埋怨

人間革命: 百分之百的對自己的幸福負責
沒有人 沒有任何事 能奪手我的佛界生命 同樣的我也沒有權力奪走別人的佛界生命
不管任何情況都能夠從生命根底感到感謝與安心自在
我要成為能帶領我父親 發心  一家和樂  能孝順父母的好女兒
我要成為能帶給我伴侶幸福的女人
我要成為讓所有部員感到安心 溫暖 能信賴的幹部
我要不斷打開自己的生命 擴大自己的境界 真的是去看到每個人的佛界生命 真的打從生命的去尊重每一個人
我要從事帶給人 安心 幸福 認識自己 以自己的姿態發揮最大的價值 的職業 也就是瑜珈



2014年2月27日 星期四

Yoga - Surya Namaskar Benefits





Surya Namaskar Benefits 
Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) is a series of forward and backbends sequenced together to form a 
vinyasa, a series of postures joined together with the breath. 
It is a practice that is traditionally done in the morning facing, and as a salutation to, the rising sun. 
When done in the morning, it may help to activate and awaken the body, getting the fluids and blood 
flowing to all parts of the body. 
There are also benefits to doing the practice in the evening. “Often after a hard day’s work, we would 
just flop down on the couch apparently relaxing our bodies - but it is NOT so. The stagnant energies 
remain locked up and the organs remain de-oxygenated to a large extent. Surya Namaskar has a deep 
effect in detoxifying the organs through copious oxygenation and has a deeper relaxing effect.”1
Its benefits may include: 
 Working and activating every muscle group and joint in the body. 
 Strengthening the abdominals 
 Improving circulation 
 Toning the nervous system 
 Great for brain function bringing oxygen and fresh blood to the brain 
 Improving concentration 
 Promoting sleep and calming anxiety 
 Calming the body and mind 
 Aiding the function of the lungs, liver, heart, digestive system, reproductive system, lymphatic 
system, endocrine system and kidneys 
 Helping to improve posture, flexibility and balance 
 Developing grace and ease of movement through the whole body 
You can practice as many rounds as you like at any time during the day for a boost of energy or to 
dispel excess energy. 
The practice can be done very slowly, holding each position for 2-3 breaths (good way to start in the 
morning) or transitioning through each position with each breath. 
Namaste. 

Opening script - 226 heart opening

2014年2月26日 星期三

Teaching -- Heart opening sequencin

今天是我們DD Gal的第三堂瑜珈課
其實嚴格來說算是我個人的第二堂
因為上次我帶她們做bikram yoga 並不是由我自己來排sequencing

很感謝這些女孩願意信任我

每週排時間來讓我練習
讓我有機會透過教學來學習更多 也了解更多

這次我安排的theme 是 heart opening

也有把開頭的專心練習跟最後的大休息也排了
感謝網路發達 有好多的資訊
不過如何取捨也是一門大智慧

我大概排的順序如下

Opening meditate
Warm up
Sun Salutation classical
Theme sequencing
cool down
Savasana

就說取捨是門大學問

我安排的體式果然是太多 花了兩個小時才上完 還省略了兩三個咧 哈


1. Opening seated warm up
a. Sukhasana (Easy Cross-Legged Seat) – set intention
b. arms life relase with breathing
c. seated small twist
d. seated cat cow
Spinal Warm up
e. Marjaryasana/Bitilasana (Cat/Cow) – to warm the spine
f. randomly swing the spine - turn right left, draw 8 
g. Balasana (Child’s Pose) – still the mind , can also with arms stretched 
i.Dandasana twist legs, core strength ( put hands or forearms behind kick legs)
j.hug knees and roll (massage the spine, relax)
d. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down Dog) – shoulder girdle mantra  with focus on upward rotation – inner shoulder blades away  from the spine

2.Standing
a. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down Dog) – lengthen spine, shoulder girdle mantra
c. Tadasana (Mountain Pose)
d. Mountain pose ,arms up side bend
e. Forward bend with hands clasping behind

 Surya Namascara classical(Sun Salutation) – warm the entire body
3. Theme Poses – open the heart and prepare for peak pose
d. elbow bend, hands clasping behind (open the heart) 
e. Through Vinyasa come to another side

Standing Pose ( again?? see, my design is weird)
d. Malasana 

4. Peak
a. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down Dog) – lengthen spine, shoulder girdle mantra
b.Bridege pose (prepare for peak pose)
d.lie down for a rest
e.Half twist pose with extended legs
f.
5. Cooldown
e. lie down knees bend

6. Savasana (Corpse Pose)(ending meditation script)
 

2014年2月7日 星期五

【Yoga】如何練習頭立式 how to do head stand

其實不只是頭立式 基本上任何一個腳要離開地板的姿勢 我都心有恐懼 
我非常怕我的脖子跟脊椎受傷 
所以連烏鴉式 Crow 練習了很久 目前也頂多只能兩秒鐘 
一月份的師資班主題是 倒立 也就是我最害怕的主題 
可是我又很希望能夠克服我的恐懼 自由的掌握這些姿勢 
 之前與在網路上認識的瑜珈老師 童童 詢問關於她在練習倒立式的過程
是如何去克服自己的恐懼 還有怎麼一步一步練習的

她人真的很好 雖然與我素未謀面
可是每次我有問題詢問 她都非常熱心的回答我 找很多資訊給我 也熱心分享她的經驗
很感謝能夠認識她 有人能夠分享討論是很幸福的事情

我提到 我常常會一直擔心自己做得不對
擔心未來很多事情 然後這種擔心就把自己堵住了
有時候乾脆就放棄了
瑜珈經裡說
practice practice practice and all will come
多簡單 多美的一句話
就跟信心一樣
daimoku daimoku daimoku!! and all will come
簡單卻也最難
這就是人的無明  
我們總是偏向擔心還未發生的事情 恐懼未知的未來 然後把自己困住了
忘記了如果每一刻都專注在當下
專心在每一件目前正在做的事情
唱題時候百分之百的心坐在御本尊前面
練習的時候百分之百的在自己的練習上
玩樂的時候百分之百的玩樂

那其實真的沒有什麼值得害怕的

但是 人的心就是很容易動搖
所以為什麼要天天練習 天天提醒自己

以下我想節錄童童鼓勵我的話

我的老師說,恐懼通常來自不瞭解,對自己的不瞭解,也對動作的不瞭解,一個動作,至少要練習一千次以上才能通透,給妳看一篇之前老師給我的回覆:關於「恐懼」一事,講得深入點,一種是自我創造出來的,因為當不熟悉、沒有把握、所以想到等一下可能會跌倒,跌倒後折頸可能會受傷。。。或更多更多思慮出現,恐懼害怕因此產生,但實際上跌倒了嗎?受傷了嗎?當這樣想的那一刻,是停在上面的;換個字眼來形容,練習瑜伽我們在練「集中注意力」「專注當下」,所以做一個動作時,應該專注當下這一刻,把身體位置做好,把身體控制好,感覺身體,而不是想著過去(上次不小心力量用不對,頸部好痛)或未來(等一下撐不住了,要翻過去了)。
另一方面,當然我們應該循序漸進的練習,當嬰兒還不會爬時,我們就讓他站立,跌倒了兩次,有不好的經驗,也會產生恐懼;因過去壞經驗而產生的恐懼,是另一種,這就應該去扎穩根基,當然專注當下的能力增強,也可以讓我們不要帶著壞經驗練習。當我們一步一步的練習,就會更有把握,更有自信,比較不會產生思慮導致恐懼。記得Guruji說過,一個體式要練習一千次才能通透。所以這個過程是鍛鍊者必經的,只是恐懼的地方不同,面對恐懼的態度不同,這是我們自己的功課。
囉唆的講完,講白話點。我的經驗--以前練習倒立都是靠牆,所以剛開始也很恐懼,有幾次也感覺到身體重心不對,用蠻力在硬撐,但又怕過頭翻過去,有一次我就在家去靠牆,先自己上來,感覺重心,發現其實只要牆在我就很正,很輕鬆,但其實都完全沒碰牆,我對自己產生信心,覺得自己一定做得到,之後也就突破的,當然我相信也是持續練習,讓我的身體能力增加,幫助我更穩定。另外,是否要學安全的跌倒,有兩極的看法,當然學會「安全的跌倒」能保護我們;但對信心薄弱、意志不堅的人,反而更容易產生放棄的心態,覺得自己撐不住了,要掉下來了,一直用這個「安全的跌倒」。有些課題,是真的要花比較長的時間去面對的啦!希望對妳有幫助。 』(紅色自部分為童童的老師的話)


最後童童也再次鼓勵我說 『保持開放的心態,嚐試迎接生命中的每個學習與挑戰,相信都是很有幫助的經驗』

不就跟Leo講得一樣嗎  be open!!

最後要分享我在瑜珈班的朋友Jana 因為知道我很希望能練習head stand 而傳給我的一段影片

Jana有聽覺障礙 所以很能體會我要用德文學習瑜珈的辛苦
很幸運能認識這樣一位充滿愛的朋友

這個影片是給聽障學習瑜珈的朋友

雖然用手語 但反而比講話感覺更容易了解
我決定用這段影片來練習

目標是今年生日用頭立式來慶祝自己的生日!!




2014年2月6日 星期四

【Yoga】Yoga 365 with Ali - Beginners Power Vinyasa Yoga Class Full Length Weight Loss Hatha Twists



看來那封信對我的影響真的滿大的

今天連練習這個都覺得不是很順

手腕一直覺得壓力很大


不過在唱題之後

再次提醒自己 不管怎樣都選擇感謝

不管什麼事情一定有它的意義與值得感謝的一面



【Yoga】 W6 - How to do Dancer's (Natarajasana) Pose

youtube上有數不清的瑜珈教學

這個我記得我之前看過一次 挺喜歡的

因為她包含了一些準備與暖身相關部位的動作




今天是這禮拜第三天練習dancer pose

有時候平衡很好 有時候連一秒鐘不到就要倒了

就像生活一樣 有時候開心 有時候瞬間因為一些事情就掉到谷底

慢慢的 我學習跳出來觀察

今天平衡不好也沒關係呀 再站好就好 一直都站不好 那就練呼吸

總是有收穫的

今天我想是因為收到了要延簽的信 上面提到其中一個要準備的文件 我沒有 心情很受影響

所以練習時無法專注 所以就想到了那跟著影片練吧

因為這影片有包含一些我之前沒想過的準備暖身動作

所以今天把練習焦點放在這個暖身動作上

也是一種收穫呢


2014年2月5日 星期三

【Yoga】 Yoga 365 with Ali - 2014-2-4 Vinyasa Yoga intermediate Shoulder Openers Wrist Modifications



today is third day of my days, so as well don't want to take risk to do the intense sequnce

so I look up for Ali's old video then I found this shoulder opener sequence which I did once long before and I liked it pretty much

don't know if it's really I have more strength now, felt easier when doing this

but good side is I can more focus on the basic


【Yoga】Yoga 365 with Ali - Yoga for Menstrual Cramps, Anxiety, Insomnia

feels like Ali always know what I exactly need!! really love this relaxing and smoothing sequence when having low energy listen to your body